Ben is passionate about computer art now, I my violin..Ana will begin piano soon. Leah will play violin with me..We have a new van..Things are smooth..

Sadly, I am bored. Why does that happen. Do you think maybe it's because
A. We have no cable.
B. We only have 3 kids for the next month. ( all under 4 though)
C. It's 108 degrees outside.

hmm, I wonder. Why isn't summer fun . I think we need waverunners or a paddle boat..or anything thats floats and would hold us on it. I need a passion. It really isn't cleaning right now, I really don't feel like mopping the floor again for the 3rd time this week.

You know, yesterday life felt heavy. I looked out the window at the flowing trees, glistening sun, I could hear water trickling in the distance. I felt as though nature was mocking me. Or perhaps it knows something I don't about my life. Gentle promptings everywhere around me tell me things are not what I think they are. Such beauty, peace cool breezy nights. Life so full of promise and gorgeous creative children. I just need to have patience and faith. patience and enduring faith. :') Focus.

They stole our radio. I laugh, really . Sometime between 3:30 pm and 6 45 pm, some rancid meth addicts wandered the 102 degree heat, knowing full well sane folk are holed up in their air conditioned houses...and the ripped that Sony stereo out of that OLD Volvo. For real. I think I am stunned, oh and they stole my 8 year old's choco cat wallet too. Gotta have some choco cat change purse to give to yo hottie. LOSERS!!!

One might say that I am a little Obsessive. No, really. I understand this is unbelieveable, but I find myself in "streams". When I like something, I consume it. Right now I like Ghost in the Shell : Second gig ....a lot. I have GITS wallpaper on my desktop, I sing the opening song...all day long. I write the acronym GITS , who would know that means anything!!!? I do , because I am in love. I was researching today and uncovered the fact that the third season will begin in June...ahhh, summer romance.
I have other obsessions, like NOLAN. His sweet buttery softness. He sings "the song" with me. He knows what mama likes.. ( imagery here is scrawny woman smoking , do rag on head)
I think for food obsession, I have gone from dark chocolate covered cranberries, to brownies, that I can make myself. This is BAD for a couple reasons, when women have cycles they crave things. Since I am done having children , my body has decided to become very cruel. It is tormenting me with hairloss, acne ( I have NEVER had acne!!) and strange chocolate cravings. I don't have the "gee a piece would be nice" craving ..no, I get the " I must eat all of the bag now, the whole 3 LB bag" craving. This is all really new to me. I'm 34, and this is new. Guess you are never too old.

The other reason is that if I can cook it easy, I don't have to go anywhere to have all the fattening brownie I want.

I really feel bad for my husband some days. He gets this "new" wife. I am a GITS watching fat nerd , who eats brownies all day, while singing "we are soldiers stand or fall", and has acne. NICE.

"Leah, DO NOT EAT FOOD , IT WILL MAKE YOU THROW UP CHEERIOS!!!!" good thing we have our 4 year old boy, the rule follower and leader of all good and just to enforce any hinted at parental regulations.

OMgosh, I'm so cute

I am kinda mean, I love Nolan's sad face so much I try to make him sad on purpose. I yell, scream at him , whatever it takes to see my favorite face.

True Love

pic08
Originally uploaded by bluefishga.

I had to post this picture . This moment makes child rearing worth while. He loves me...